Should i rekindle my friendships?

these past 6 months i didn't really enjoy my "best friends" company. i didn't feel like i belong in the group. i couldn't relate to what they were talking about and i didn't want to either. i couldn't wait for lunch break to end so i didn't have to force myself to sit with them. they always talked and i really didn't have anything to say so i just listened. one day i felt so alone because they all left me and i didn't talk to them for that day. the next day at school none of them talked to me because apparently they still thought i was mad but i wasn't. so we stopped talking to each other and none of us bothered to talk to each other really. one of them who i expected to still talk to me didn't. that's how it is all the time, anyway. when i'm in a row with one it usually is true for all. when i'm not in good terms with one person everyone acts awkward. someone told me that they said that they didn't want to be friends with me anymore because i always held grudges and that i'm so unforgiving. i can't even imagine what other things they said because they always trash talk people. should i try to rekindle the friendship? i know things won't go back to normal because i don't trust them anymore and i think it's too awkward.